They’re All Gonna Laugh At You

18 04 2008

So the buzz for today is how the greasiest man next to Jermaine Jackson, Akon, made up his whole “Konvict, Konvict… Akon and Young Jezzy…trying to make it easy” story and lied about jail time. I’m not going to get into the whole story because there are more important things to discuss, like party pictures.

For a while now, like many of you, I find myself amazed that week after week, some of my favorite sites never have a problem running out of pictures of fools in the club from sites like Alltheparties.com (and…like many of you…I forward the pics to friends to laugh and point like Nelson from The Simpsons). I’m convinced though, that this party site is about as real as Akon’s criminal past.

There is no way that people go to the club looking like they were inspired by Superman like this Charli Baltimore look alike here, week after week after week.

I refuse to believe it anymore. I think it’s just a long running Punk’d episode on us and I’m tired of being made a fool of.

If you don’t believe me, here is an example of the type of pictures you are guaranteed to see any given night. I am going to ask that everyone reading this take a stand this weekend. If you happen to go out and see anyone doing any of the things shown below, or look like they belong in one of these pictures, do me a favor…..

Take out a bottle of this…..

Sprinkle some on your hands and rub them together real well…..

and then……SLAP THEIR ASS!!!

Any given night, you can guarantee there will be someone out there lurking in the club just waiting in a corner to jump out and get photographed looking like their friends hate them like this gem….

speaking of gem…was she once a member of Jem…or possibly a Misfit? Who was out to get her?

See the resemblance?

Then, like Ashanti’s little sister,

bless her heart, you have the young lady that checked her pants with her coat.

You can’t forget about the men. Oh….the men. Where do I begin. First off, the bottle pic is about as played out as holding it and doing the Damon Dash dance with a bottle of Belvedere. How about a bottle of Nicolas Feuilatte…or hell go old school and get a bottle of Colt 45 Billie Dee Williams style, at least you will not look like the other 70 men in the clubs holding up the same damn bottle of Grey Goose.

And every once in a while you have the “Somebody Get Your Momma(or Oprah)” Pic

There is always the “Where Do I Begin” pic (which can also be called the “They Don’t Get Out Much” pic)

Then there is my personal favorite, the “Somebody Call John Casablanca or Barbizon to teach poses” pic

And last but not least, sometimes, you will get the “They Look To Normal To Be At This Event” pic.

Can you think of any others?