Mariah “I Brake For Butterflies” Carey Covers Elle Magazine

Mariah Carey is on the August cover of Elle Magazine talking about Nick, how she is happy, blah blah blah. The only thing that caught my interest was this comment from the issue:

“When I was in an unhappy place in my life, I always wanted to be kidnapped. I just wanted a way out, but didn’t have one. He sort of kidnapped me and took me on a helicopter ride. Then he re-proposed. They’ve been calling me Cinderella since I first started out, so, of course, being Cinderella… Most people would think, Okay, please! This doesn’t happen in real life.” (Source)

Now as you can see, the only thing relevant to me in that paragraph was she wanted to be kidnapped. As if she was reading my mind, I want her to be kidnapped to! (I kid I kid!) I can deal with Mariah in moderation, moderation meaning in small doses, small doses meaning not at all. That’s a little harsh, I’ll just say I can tolerate pre-Cannon Mariah.

She made think though(for all of 3 minutes) how wonderful it would be if certain individuals were kidnapped (not harmed though) and replaced with others that can get rescued. I know I’m missing a lot, but I would love for the following to get kidnapped (In No Certain Order):

Ashanti, Ashanti’s laugh, New York from I Love New York, Heidi and Spencer from The Hills, Lindsay Lohan, Souljah Boy, Lil Man I mean Mama, Rocsi….and she can take 106 & Park with her, Ray-J, Bow Wow, Superhead (wait let me take that back.. I don’t want to wish anything on the girl).

Now for those that I wouldn’t mind being rescued:

Vivica Fox and Naomi Campbell’s hairline, Maxwell, A still thin D’Angelo, Lil Mama’s Birth Certificate that proves she was born in 1965, Noah’s Arc, singers like Vivian Green and Teedra Moses, a pre Jehova Witness Prince.

Who would you like to see kidnapped and rescued? (You know my cynical little heart really wants to hear the kidnapped).