La..La..La..La….Wait Til I Get My Money Right

So after all my whoas me’s about my foot surgery and how I was out of heels for five months and I had no desire to get back into heels….I relapsed faster than Karrine Steffans at a BET Awards After Party this weekend.

I finally got in some 2 inch heels and oh did it feel good. I am two weeks short of ending up in the emergency room for trying to get my hot ass in some 4 inch heels too fast I’m sure of it. I figured if I had to go out with a bang, why not in some DSquared2 heels?

I usually try to post some reasonably priced shoes along with pricey ones, but since I have been tortured the last few months seeing all of you in your cute little heels (and secretly wanting to saw them down to flats lol) I decided we should all suffer through this one lol. Who is down for starting some kind of foundation for a pair….I’m willing to be a Jerry’s Kid or whatever I have to do.

If you have $700-1500 for a pair, click the link.

I Went To The Glow In The Dark Tour….Are You????????

In between starting a new job and getting my new place together, I managed to find time to make myself look presentable and go see Lupe, N*E*R*D, Rihanna and Kanye to the at The Glow In The Dark Tour for the second show in LA last week. It left me tired for the rest of the week(on a side note….did you know it is possible to be fully asleep with your eyes opened?) but it was worth it.

For a full run down and accurate review of the show, click here. If you can manage to get your hands on a pair of tickets..please do! If you already have tickets get ready for an experience.

Lupe opened the show that started right on time and performed songs mainly from The Cool but also performed some songs from Food and Liquor. I saw him last summer and noticed an improvement in his stage presence and was happy to see that he kept everyone on their feet for his entire performance.

I can’t tell you what happened when N*E*R*D came out because I was too busy picturing myself and Pharrell running through daisy fields holding hands and riding on unicorns….

but I do remember that they kept the crowd on their feet. Sigh….that Pharrell sure is dreamy.

Then, there was Rihanna. I like Rihanna, but honestly would have liked her better on another tour. I would have preferred to see someone like Common in her place. I feel like the energy in the audience went down by the time she ended her first song. For the first time that night people were sitting in their seats and watching as she literally gyrated through most of her songs.

I think that an artist like Common would have meshed better with the flow of the show. Adding Rihanna to The Glow In The Dark Tour made as much since as adding Cameo to a BeeGees and Abba Reunion Concert.

I love that she is trying to be different with the whole “bad girl” image, but felt like calling her people and telling them having her smoke a cigarette during her song, Rehab, didn’t make her a bad girl, it made her a candidate for a voice box. A cigarette puts her more on the level of in Sandy from Grease or something. Why stop there, if she really wants to be the bad girl she can be the girl that stuffs her bra at the Sadie Hawkins Dance and makes-out under the bleachers.

Anywho, once Kanye came out….I felt like I was in Coming to America and just got done watching Randy Watson because the whole time I was clapping and yelling out “That Boy Is Good, That Boy Is Good”.

Kanye raised the bar for concert performances with what has been called an “apocalyptic space opera”. I loved that the whole night there was no one on stage with Kanye (until Lupe joined him at the end of the night for Touch the Sky) yet he still commanded the audience from the first song until the end of the concert which says a lot in the age of guest appearances, dancers, trapeze acts, stilt walkers and flame tossers that usually make appearances to bring out the theatrics at concerts.

Unfortunately these are not pictures from the concert, I got an ok picture of Rihanna but wasn’t trying to risk getting kicked out because they were on it if the saw even the slightest flash…so word to the wise….keep your flash off lol.

I Call Oscar

So my best friend always talks about me because she thinks that I don’t support black movies. When I was in high school, I up and walked out of a few black movies that were so bad I felt like just sitting in the theater I was setting us back further than Diddy’s gumline.

It’s not that I don’t support black movies, it’s just I refuse to support those that shall remain nameless (Norbit) because I know we are capable of more than that. When a black movie of quality, like The Great Debaters is released, most of the time I have to get my tickets early because opening night it’s guaranteed to sell out…even if the movie doesn’t make a whole lot at the box office.

We will go and see a quality black movie just as quickly as we will see a movie with Madea in it. The only difference is, someone like Monique is going to pop in a movie more than someone like Journee Smollet may due to a little thing I am hoping Journee keeps that I think “Mr. Snakes on a Plane” Samuel L. Jackson lost a long time ago….dignity. (Sigh….he was so promising when he was good ole Gator in Jungle Fever smoking up his Momma and the Good Reverend Doctors tv).

Anyways….my point is, that while I am not looking forward to any upcoming movies featuring Katt Williams, I am looking forward to Jamie Foxx’s new movie The Soloist which is still filming.

You may have already seen the pictures of Jaime looking like he should be selling tube socks and sunflower seeds on 79th and Stony Island already but was unsure why.

Jaime will be portraying Nathaniel Ayers, a classically trained musician that ended up homeless due to schizophrenia.

After his portrayal of Ray Charles, I’m calling Oscar Number 2. Click here for a series of 5 interviews with Nathaniel Ayers and journalist Steve Lopez who will be played in the film by Robert Downey Jr.

Go Ricki….Go Ricki

So I have this theory that the 90’s was one of those few decades where there is not much that can make a comeback. There are some exceptions, but any decade that spawned not only “Whoop There It Is” but “That’s Just My Baby’s Daddy” should be hidden along with where J. Edgar Hoover is for obvious reasons.

While I can’t see myself dusting off my hottest baby doll dress from Contempo Casuals anytime soon….I can thank youtube for reminding me of how I wasted many days watching Ricki Lake, Jerry Springer and Jenny Jones. I can thank them for my going to college in fear that if I didn’t I would have to have a make-over and life intervention due to my dressing like a sexy teen and marrying a midget that is also a KKK.

This is classic Ricki….lots of “ooohhhhsss” and “ahhhhhs” from the audience, a couple in matching bed sheets or something, and a mullet. By the way, did anyone else wonder what was on those cards she held? And if you fast forward to 2 minutes and 14 seconds, was that Ike Turner in the audience?

A Song Cover I Actually Like

See….I’m not always cynical……although hearing him say “Call me if you want a thug” and “I can make it juicy for ya” just doesn’t have the same ring lol. They actually sound really good covering Lil Wayne’s Lollipop.

An entire Vogue Magazine with all black models?????????

(Image Source. This is not the cover)

Sounds crazy right? Well it’s true….kind of. Famed photographer Steven Meisel (who photographed Madonna for her book SEX) has shot an entire issue of Vogue Italia with black models! In the words of Beyonce, that is AMAZING!

So far, there is no word on the models that will be featured or when the issue will hit the stands, but you better believe I’ll have my hands on a copy as fast as people probably exited the church Foxy Brown prayed in this week in fear they would catch a lightening bolt meant for her, or she would slap them for accidentally drinking her communion or something.

I’m not the only one hoping to see Jourdan Dunn or Chanel Iman featured. I’m just hoping the issue will not bring as much controversy as the whole Lebron James cover. You already know how I feel about Vogue so I’m hoping Vogue Italia shows Vogue how it’s done!

They’re All Gonna Laugh At You

So the buzz for today is how the greasiest man next to Jermaine Jackson, Akon, made up his whole “Konvict, Konvict… Akon and Young Jezzy…trying to make it easy” story and lied about jail time. I’m not going to get into the whole story because there are more important things to discuss, like party pictures.

For a while now, like many of you, I find myself amazed that week after week, some of my favorite sites never have a problem running out of pictures of fools in the club from sites like Alltheparties.com (and…like many of you…I forward the pics to friends to laugh and point like Nelson from The Simpsons). I’m convinced though, that this party site is about as real as Akon’s criminal past.

There is no way that people go to the club looking like they were inspired by Superman like this Charli Baltimore look alike here, week after week after week.

I refuse to believe it anymore. I think it’s just a long running Punk’d episode on us and I’m tired of being made a fool of.

If you don’t believe me, here is an example of the type of pictures you are guaranteed to see any given night. I am going to ask that everyone reading this take a stand this weekend. If you happen to go out and see anyone doing any of the things shown below, or look like they belong in one of these pictures, do me a favor…..

Take out a bottle of this…..

Sprinkle some on your hands and rub them together real well…..

and then……SLAP THEIR ASS!!!

Any given night, you can guarantee there will be someone out there lurking in the club just waiting in a corner to jump out and get photographed looking like their friends hate them like this gem….

speaking of gem…was she once a member of Jem…or possibly a Misfit? Who was out to get her?

See the resemblance?

Then, like Ashanti’s little sister,

bless her heart, you have the young lady that checked her pants with her coat.

You can’t forget about the men. Oh….the men. Where do I begin. First off, the bottle pic is about as played out as holding it and doing the Damon Dash dance with a bottle of Belvedere. How about a bottle of Nicolas Feuilatte…or hell go old school and get a bottle of Colt 45 Billie Dee Williams style, at least you will not look like the other 70 men in the clubs holding up the same damn bottle of Grey Goose.

And every once in a while you have the “Somebody Get Your Momma(or Oprah)” Pic

There is always the “Where Do I Begin” pic (which can also be called the “They Don’t Get Out Much” pic)

Then there is my personal favorite, the “Somebody Call John Casablanca or Barbizon to teach poses” pic

And last but not least, sometimes, you will get the “They Look To Normal To Be At This Event” pic.

Can you think of any others?

Are these blackmail pics???

I’m a nice person. I swear I am. I pray every night, I say please and thank you. I even hold doors for people. But there are times when I feel tested to say things that are not very nice. This, my friends, is one of those times.

Can somebody tell me why the Sam hell Mr. Hightower rolled in Donatella Versace’s tanning lotion and took this damn picture????? I don’t care if it is for a “Take Off Your Shirt” Campaign. Couldn’t they have just campaigned for the upcoming elections and called it a day??? Hell campaign to free Remy Ma for all I care just keep it covered!

It’s not even their age or size that gets me…it’s the creepy facial expressions and the baby oil that ruined it for me. What exactly runs through your mind when your a grown ass man in cowboy boots with a belt around your draws…and there isn’t anyone any where near you with a gun, knife, bat or picture of Amy Winehouse naked threatening you.

The rhinestone cowboy ruined it for me. Did he get arrested after straddling that poor lion like that? I’ll bet you $50 that thing came to life and bit him in the ass.

New Lupe Fiasco Video “Paris, Tokyo”

I am so slacking on posting right now, this move has taken over my life lol! I will be posting more soon so please continue to check in, I hope to start posting again tommorow.

In the meantime, enjoy a new Lupe video from one of my favorite songs off his cd, The Cool.

Why Lord….no really…Why Lord?

I made it safely to LA and will be back to posting in a few days…sorry but this move is making me crazy! In the meantime, I’m going to leave any sarcastic comments to you on this video because I am trying my hardest to not have a guaranteed trip to you know where with gasoline draws on and this is just asking for it. Make sure to listen the entire way through.

Beyonce and Jay-Z finally Mr & Mrs Shawn Carter

(Image Source)

As much as I may make Beyonce jokes from time to time, I am a huge Beyonce and Jay-Z fan, so if the rumors from People that they wed yesterday are true, I am so happy for them and can’t wait to see official wedding pictures. I am just praying that Tina Knowles had nothing to do with the wedding dress.

Yesterday you would have thought we were under orange alert with all of the up to date reports. From TMZ showing live stream outside of Jay-Z’s New York apartment where a reported wedding reception occured to Perez Hilton giving the actual apartment location and even breaking down the reason for an April 4th wedding date, I felt like we were tracking the return of Jesus Christ or back to the Tupac/Makaveli 7 Day Theory days.

Although the press went into overdrive with reports yesterday, I’m happy that they didn’t go the route of Star Jones and have a wedding production and instead tried to have a private ceremony.

Click the links for updates as well, since I’m on the road I will not be able to post anymore until Tuesday (which in reality means check back later tonight lol….gotta love air cards).

Gloria Carter, Jay-Z’s Mom

(Image Source)

Reported bouquet and decorations ( I am assuming Tina Knowles is the culprit behind the bouquet).

(Image Source)

The top of Jay-Z’s Tribeca apartment rooftop where the stand-off went down lol.

(Image Source)

Party is over…..the rift raft is coming to town

                           

I’m relocating from Chicago to Los Angeles this weekend so I will be unable to post for the next few days.  Considering the fact that I need food, water and Internet to survive, I should be back posting by Tuesday (I made sure the internet was on before I called to even have the damn lights turned on lol)  so until then wish me a safe trip to the West Coast….(In my best Ice Cube voice)….Yaeeyaae lol.

As soon as I get situated, I’ll be back to posting  That Chick of the Week as well, so email me if you would like to be featured!

As Frankie, Keisha Cole’s Mom would say….”Hollllaaaaa” until next week!

To get in the mood…enjoy a little Tupac “California Love“.

We are in our last days

I am outdone this time. I really am. I mean the devil is working hard on me today.  I saw this video over at crunktastical.net and was at a complete loss.  I’m just going to leave the sarcastic comments to you this time because I really can’t today. 

All I will say is, have you ever felt like you need to get tested from just watching something?  Yeah, pretty much sums up how I feel.

If this video isn’t bad enough, I came across condoms for the fashionable and chic….because not pregnant should be far less of a concern I assume. 

I propose instead they have condoms with cute little titles opposed to designs, like the “I Must Be Really Drunk” condom….or the “My Name Is______” condom that allows you to write the persons name on the condom to prevent embarrassing moments.  Or even the “Has My Life Cum To This” condom.  Or the “Jackpot” condom for the gold diggers of the world.  The one that probably wouldn’t go over well would be the “Your Screwed…Literally” condom for the person that has a secret….that comes with a prescription.

Do you have any suggestions?

Jay-Z and Beyonce to wed…no for real for real this time

I am just as tired of Jay-Z/Beyonce wedding rumors as I am of hearing her use “amazing” to describe anything in an interview.

“So Beyonce, how was your Beyonce Experience Tour?” “It was amazing”. “So Beyonce, how was hearing Kelly Rowland’s cd sold 20 copies?” “That’s amazing”. “Hey, yo, Beyonce, I heard that the Apocalypse is coming and that the end of the world is upon us, how do you feel?” ” I feel amazing”.

Anyways, this time People magazine is reporting the couple have obtained a marriage license in New York that has to be used in 60 days….on April Fools Day. April Fools on us? That’s what I thought when I heard the lyrics to Kelly Rowland’s “Stole“, but she was serious, so I think this may be real too.

I hope it is, Jay Z is pushing 65 and pretty soon the thought of a baby Hov will be as unlikely as Lil Momma really being 18(that girl is 35 and you know it!).

I’ll be looking forward to wedding pics, all jokes aside I love some Beyonce and Jay-Z and hope this time they really do get married, or the next time Jay says “You ready B” it’s to take her to get a damn thesaurus!

Try this….Chanel Sunglasses (or an inspired pair)

I haven’t always been a fan of the Chanel 5018 Sunglasses that made their debut during the Chanel Spring/Summer 2007 line….but for some reason, I now want a pair.

The half-opaque, half-translucent lenses are hard to pull off, and reminded me of Arthur when Mary Kate wore them earlier this year during Paris fashion week.

Nicole Richie wore them throughout her pregnancy and has been seen all over wearing them again recently…and to me looks great in them.

Everyone from my boo in my head Pharrell to Lindsay Lohan has a pair…and as you know, I am willing to go through great measures to get my hands on things I want (must I remind you of how I am willing to tap dance naked for a pair of Yves St. Laurent heels?)

After seeing this picture of Jennifer Lopez in half-tint sunglasses (which I am still trying to figure the designer of) I am now on a search to find a reasonably priced pair, considering a pair of Chanel 5018 sunglasses at a Chanel store or on ebay an run well over $300….on ebay I found some up to $500.

80s Purple have a Chanel 5018 inspired pair for only $13

Asos of course have a Chanel 5018 inspired pair for only $21

For a pair of half-tint sunglasses, I found these by Dita for $225.